Five Sentence Fiction - Flawed



Yes. I'm late to the game again, but as they say; better late than never. This weeks word is Flawed. 

Lillie McFerrin

Ned crept up the stairs at the rear of the inn, taking care not to make a sound on the creaking floorboards as he stole into the heart of Talon's empire.  

He padded to the door and ran through the complex series of knocks to get a reply and was halfway through the second lot in his head when it was yanked open violently.

His eyes wide in surprise, two massive arms clad in leather gauntlets grabbed his cloak and flung him unceremoniously into the dimly lit room beyond the door; his pouch was ripped from his belt and thudded onto the table as he sprawled on the rough, sawdust floor. 

He looked up to see Talon, framed by two of his unspeakable thug henchmen, examining the jewel that was in Ned's pouch closely through an eyeglass rammed into his left eye, the right one covered with a black velvet patch barely concealing the jagged scar that ran from his chin through his right eye to his hairline. 

"When I sent you out for an emerald, apprentice, I said flaw-less," Talon's voice dripped with disdain "it seems that before I can teach you to be a thief, my lads are going to have to teach you how to listen."

Lillie McFerrin's Links Page for this weeks Five Sentence Fiction is here. Why not have a look and get involved. 

Cheers,

W.

Comments

  1. Isn't it funny how a small piece makes us want to read more, even though "more" doesn't exist since it's for flash fiction? UGH!
    Amazing work, Wayne!

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  2. I don't think he'll make that mistake again. Very nicely written Wayne.

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  3. I'm amazed how you can make 5 sentences look so effortlessly. Keep it up.

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  4. You created a great picture in just a few sentences - very vivid.

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  5. Like Sarah said, vivid is the word! A great snippet and full of tension, I loved it Wayne!

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  6. Surprisingly aggressive and great tension and intrigue. Great.

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  7. Love this piece. Missed the deadline - I need to set something up that reminds me when these need doing... dammit!

    Excellent work, Wayne, your writing is coming on leaps and bounds.

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  8. Wayne, the tension, imagery and movement in this piece is wonderful! I couldn't believe that was only 5 sentences. Wow! Excellent use of the prompt!:)))

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Wotcher. Comments are welcome and make Wayne happy. Please post some. Spammers on the other hand, I hunt down, kill and eat.

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