Friday 12 April 2013

K is for Kids

Of which I am the proud owner of two. One of each type, which is nice. Rocco, my brilliant, funny and clever little boy is nearly seven. Jasmine, the gentle, caring and beautiful girl is nearly four and a half. The half is important.

It would be really easy to just talk about how ace they are and how much joy they bring, every day, but I shan't get all gooey and sentimental as it's cloying, and I know you really aren't up for that stuff. I will say however that they do on occasion drive me to my wits end.

I'll give you an example. Rocco (that's the funny, brilliant one) has from what I have managed to work out, SPID. Or, to those of you that don't have kids, Selective Parent Instruction Deafness. This particular malady tends to rear it's head at the most inopportune of times. Today, Rocco gets up early and eats his breakfast, turns on the TV and watches while the rest of the house wakes up. He is a clever little gaffer and can sort himself out some cereal, toast and juice without making a mess. Because he has been a good boy he asks if he can play on the Xbox for a bit before being taken to school. "Fine," says his mum, putting his uniform on the sofa next to him. "You can have fifteen minutes while I'm in the shower. Put your uniform on while I'm in there and when I come down, we can just go off to school." Now, those of you who have kids will know that only some of those sentences went into Rocco's head. That'll be the SPID. Suffice to say, Mum comes down, Rocco is still in front of the Xbox, naked from the waist down with one sock on. It's twenty to nine, school is at nine, We live fifteen minutes away by car, Rocco takes ages to get dressed. You can imagine the aftermath.

Jasmine has a Nintendo DS and several games for it that are just for her. There are princesses, puppies, Hello Kitties and Moshio Monsters. She has a Hello Kitty carry case that they can all go in, with the DS and a couple of the pens that you need for it too. Very handy for keeping her entertained in the car. She has been told that she must always put the games and the DS in the case so we can just pick it up and leave the house to go somewhere and she will be entertained on the longer journeys. Does she do this? Does she heck as like. So leaving the house to go out with two kids and finding shoes, coats and sometimes kids being stressful enough, now we have to play the search around the house for games and pens and DS's. And we are now late for wherever we want to go. Then, once in the car, the only game we couldn't find is the ONLY one she wants to play on. The journey then becomes increasingly more and more horrendous as she whines about aforementioned game ALL. THE. WAY. THERE.

It's no wonder I'm going grey.

Rocco's Random number is 920 which takes you to The Dwarven Stronghold. Where there are dwarves and RPG's and all manner of things I like.

Rock on.

W.

3 comments:

  1. Aww bless them, they sound like lovely kids! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. SPID, LOL. Both my kids suffer from this too. Sad thing is, so do their mother. :P

    ReplyDelete
  3. SPID is a real thing. You heard it here first. Also, I apologise for the spelling mistake. It's Moshi Monsters. Also, starting one sentence with a preposition. Bad Wayne.

    ReplyDelete

Wotcher. Comments are welcome and make Wayne happy. Please post some. Spammers on the other hand, I hunt down, kill and eat.

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